The Herb Of Grace

Theology and Poetry, Politics and Prose

Things That Sustain: The Eucharist, Part 1 September 1, 2008

Things That Sustain: Christian Practices that must not be forgotten (or must be restored) if we hope to “Be Church.”

Here I am continuing my posts on Christian Practices, having so far written on forgiveness. If you’d like, read Forgiveness, Part 1 and Part 2

The Eucharist as Memory and Presence

It is interesting to want to write about the Eucharist, and to try to. It is interesting because of the vantage point that it presupposes; it presupposes a perspective on the Eucharist which could elucidate things about it, a perspective that stands above it. It presupposes that the Eucharist is basically a human institution that can be picked apart as an etymologist dissects a cockroach. It presupposes that we will be able, after this short discussions, to say, “there now, that’s settled; let’s move on to the next Christian practice,” and feel utterly confident that we have plumbed the depth of the thing. I am glad to say that this set of presuppositions is nothing but pride mixed with a healthy dose of stupidity. I am less than glad to tell you that I am not sure just how much of this set of presuppositions I have dwelling within me at the moment. But we try nonetheless and hope, by the power and leading of the Holy Spirit, that we will find more than our presuppositions deserve.

What excites me is the reverse of these presuppositions. That is, if the Eucharist is not what we have said above, then it must be something else, something better. Let us begin by seeing the Eucharist as essentially Christian mystery, as mysterious revelation and presence, as something that Christians do or ‘practice’, not in order to understand it, but in order that we might worship God. When we do this, we are brought closer to the place that millions of hopeful Jesus-followers have lived in their communal gathering, their gatherings of memory and presence.

See the bread and wine lifted up, just as Jesus did, and hear the words, Jesus’ words, “this my body, this is my blood.” Feel the memory rush into your bones, memory of all that God has done; you remember in that moment the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and, layered behind that, God bringing the Israelites out of Egypt and feeding them with bread from heaven and water from rock. Now see all the sinners and saints, which are the same people, go forward and take that presence into their bodies, God’s memory into their memory. In that moment both Presence and memory collide with all our false gods and memories; in that moment Christ is victorious in his people, not by coercion or by violence, but by his community’s humble acceptance of the story and Lordship of Jesus.
Does this sound different from your experience of the eucharist or communion? I know it sounds different from mine. Unlike what I have just been describing, the mystery that surrounded the eucharist for me was simply and sadly that we so received it so infrequently.


Church History & The Protestant Loss Of Time July 28, 2008

        I have become haunted by Christian history.  Now I don’t mean that in the way I assume you think.  I am not haunted by the ghosts of past Christian sin.  I am stalked by a realization, new to my protestant mind (or more precisely: my communitarian-baptist-evangelical-vineyard mind), that as the Church we have a history, that we are essentially a historical family. 

        This was new to me; I think growing up in evangelical youth groups and summer camps firmly cemented the implied notion that there was nothing of substance or value in any events after the gospels and before the 20th century.  When Christian history was spoken of in my above mentioned childhood contexts, it was mentioned in derision and lament at the mistakes of the Catholics, the Puritans, the medieval Christians, the post Luther Lutherans (for of course the only history I did know was that someone wonderful named Luther ‘liberated’ the Church so that we could today enjoy such religious ‘freedom’ and ‘spontaneity). 

           One got the sense, and I know I am unfortunately far from alone in this, that we were part of the Church that had finally got it right and prayed like the Pharisee, “Thank You Lord that I am not like your ignorant children of old!”  Acting and speaking as if there was nothing good to find in that time between Jesus and Billy Graham was, I am thinking now, a sub-conscious proclamation that there is no time, that now is the only moment, that even the gospel and Jesus and all the apostles are merely spiritual truths that have always been the same and are only now being grasped.


How To Imagine? July 23, 2008

         I am wondering what it is to think of something which has no present reality.  All of us are moving, whether by our own movements or somebody else’s upon us.  It seems difficult to know where one is and where one might be going.


            I am thinking now of trust; of who to trust and why and for how long?  I exasperate at my obvious connection to trust invoking advertisements: political, religious, and capitalistic; I have not been able to turn my eyes away.  In bars with friends, my eyes are drawn to the harsh but inviting light of flat screens rather than to the light of God moving in the darkness.


           To trust that whatever small and paltry thing I might submit as passing for a sacrifice, that God will hold it in appropriate distance from myself, the world, His name.  Where is the strength to endeavor?  Not in success, i have ceased believing in it as a mode of justification.  In money?  I should say no, and I will, but not without admitting that it wouldn’t be bad to go forward in that way, having every idea funded and made physical…  but no.  The best thinkers, the best pray-ers, many of them, i realize, were dead when their thoughts and prayers published and brought into the hallowed halls of fame.  Did they despair at lack of notoreity and money?  Did they ever imagine their near sainthood of the present day?  If they despaired and did not conceive of sainthood, then what was their strength?  How did they continue to imagine, to innovate (that is, to pray), even as the walls and empires of boredom where being built around them and their church?

             How can we stay elastic and inspired?  Humble and contrary enough?  Unknowingly innocent and knowingly guilty?  I can feel the claws of the ordinary, the fearful, against my door, and I am scrambling to remember where the hidden passageway is.


The Art Of Conversation: Ideas Are People Too! July 15, 2008

Filed under: storying — Joel @ 10:45 pm

          I had an amazing discussion with my friends Adam and Matt the other night.  We talked about many things and in many ways it was what I would call a “true conversation.”  In contrast with most verbal interactions, this one included intuitively letting all parties have their say, exhibiting listening and re-formation of ideas previously shared, eye contact and humour while not getting too far off topic (which was:  should we save the world!), and attempts at bringing it all together.  

                There is a book that I heard of once which was about the art of conversation; this is an idea I believe.  The better we are at this discipline, the more we can achieve many of the goals of our other disciplines.  This is so because being ‘better’ at the art of conversation means more than just correctly getting your ideas across.  When a conversation is is really good, there is excitement generated about the topic, new aspects and nuances unfolded around or beneath the topic not to mention the strands of friendship which are strengthened or even created in those moments when we are committed to being present not only to each other but to the ideas which are being thrown through us.


A New 4-Part Series: Why I Don’t Believe IN Tradition (But I Stand ON it) April 6, 2008

Filed under: public theology,storying — Joel @ 7:08 pm

I don’t “believe” in tradition as a moral or spiritual foundation, I just think that we need to know where we come from in order to know where we’re going.  I personally don’t want to go where Canada is going, or where the U.S. is going, or even where Greenland is going for that matter.  But I am interested in going where the Church is going, seeking to follow Jesus together, wherever that leads. 

               It is short sighted to only know the story of the Vineyard and take that as enough; it isn’t.  To be fair, it isn’t enough for Baptists, Anglicans, or Catholics either. If Jesus is our Lord and not John Wimber, Charles Spurgeon, C.S Lewis, or Mother Teresa, then we must get to know the whole story (as the psychologist in Office Space says, “go way way way back, deep down.”).  We can’t do it alone or all at once, but we must start, because if we don’t, we may one day be found following not Jesus, but our own culture-run version of him.


A New Project: St. Stephen’s Prayerbook March 10, 2008

Filed under: books,storying — Joel @ 7:54 pm

hello all,             For the past 2 months, Matt Frise and I have begun our thoughts and workings upon a new project:  the St. Stephen’s Prayerbook (in lieu of a better title).  We are trying to pull together the unique offerings of our scattered and present community in a collection which could be used by those who know us and those who don’t.  It’ll include daily readings, prayers, liturgies, resources for social justice, art, biblical criticism, celtic spirituality, life in community, and the Mothers and Fathers of the Church; fun shtuff.  I’ll put down an unedited part of the introduction for your enjoyment.  I’d love to hear thoughts as well (though remember this is just a part of the intro). 

“The water that flows in rivers and tributaries in our town and the outlying countryside is what one might call “extremely tidal.”  In fact, the Bay of Fundy, the body of water which feeds these streams and inlets, has numerous signs and brochures which herald it as having “the highest tides in the world.”  This means that at 10 o’clock in the morning I may look out my office window and see the St. Croix River as a large gauntlet of mud; six hours later I may look out the same window to find the channel filled to the brim and careening ultimately towards the Atlantic.

            I share this with you because the prayers, stories, and incarnational entry points found within this collection were born and found in a similar rhythm.  Rhythms of fullness and emptiness, rhythms of many people living together, excitedly, tumultuously and rhythms of few people enjoying the sun of summer as well as the lonliness of an empty building.  There are the rhythms of grief, of miscommunication and the rhythms of connectedness, of belonging and being understood.  There is the rhythm of the deep inner experience of God dwelling in the cell of our hearts and that of the God who calls us ever out to the risk of sacrificial love in a world ruled by self-interest.

            So we who share with you the fruit of our lives, are dizzy.  We are rocked back and forth, adjusting our stance to today’s tide.  Sometimes we have succeeded in this and other times we have failed, tripping over our own feet or sending others off theirs; sometimes we have even fallen out of the boat entirely and splashed down into the water.

            But we share this because we hope to believe that we are a little better at balancing then when we first began and that perhaps our journey will help both us and you find new rhythms on the sea, putting one foot (or paddle) in front of the other with God and with each other.

            We are hoping to open up channels of conversation, not write the book on love.  This collection was not created to speak the final word on anything but simply to be many entry points by which we might together enter that great and wonderful presence which is so small and yet so big that our hearts may explode and miss it all at the same time. 

Pray with me,

            O Lord, My Boat is So Small and the Sea is So Great



Raking The Coals, Pt. 4: The Story of God January 30, 2008

Filed under: peace and justice,public theology,sermons,storying — Joel @ 10:29 pm

The notes below are from the talk I gave at the vineyard here in St. Stephen last sunday.  It didn’t record so I’m posting the notes I wrote in preparation; they are reasonably thorough.  I’d love to hear what you think?   Implications?  Practical changes towards a response? 

The Church – more than you thought it was!


 The Church doesnot have an alternative, it is the alternative


We Tell The Story and We Are The Story



I’d like to acknowledge Stanely Hauerwas as a major source for me regarding the thoughts that are to follow. 

             We’ve talked in the past about how we each have a unique song to sing as creations of a good God, and that this freedom to sing that song comes ultimately from the coming of Jesus, the great liberator, into the world.

            I also want to look at the unique song given to the Church, which is us.  We, as the people of God, have a song to sing.  We’ve known this for quite a while and have tried since that time to figure out both what exactly it is and how to sing it.  This is what I want to focus on:  that in our communal imitation of Jesus, we provide in ourselves the alternative to a world of violence.

I’m going to talk about the Church today and always as God’s alternative community to the rest of the world; it is different.  It doesn’t have the best idea, it is the best idea. To do that I wanted to start by telling you a bit of how I recently got to be thinking about the Church in a way that excites, at least, me. 

One Disclaimer – In this talk, when I refer to the culture of the world around us, I am referring to the negative aspects of that culture.  I am assuming that there are many beautiful and God-given things that emerge out of culture.

 a lesson in history in my recent past.  not my usual passion.

these experiences that I’m about to share showed me how I longed for a history of my own that was strong and applicable to my present life.

            – The Chosen by Chaim Potok– Jewish history and community

            – going through airports on Christmas day, Somali muslims working many of the food stands – strong sense of identity and belonging, not abstract but wedded to their religion and culture

            – matt wiebe’s blog “why are they so content”  my answer: because of their strong community, built together and inseparable with their religion.

            – my jealousy of both party’s strong community.

But we all know that strong cultures can also be places where oppression reigns, those who are what the culture expects of them fit in and are happy but those who do not (fill in the blank) are ostracized.  The reason why I became so hopeful in looking at these strong cultural communities is because, though we can see glimpses of God in every culture in different ways, I think the Church is God’s transcendent answer to questions of culture, identity, and community. 

            I realized that we live in a society which does not cherish its elders, nor its old stories.  what is beautiful is new, shiny, or plastic.  What is treasured is the latest release, the latest news.  Even the social workers, though giving their lives to help others, are too isolated by a system which burns out its workers; we were not meant to be compassionate alone.  I thought, “I would love to be part of a community which ran counter to this strong societal current, while still being intimately connected to it, which lived as a different and better culture than that of the world in which I live.

             I do not want to be, by myself, the change I want to see in the world, but I want to band together with my brothers and sisters in Christ and be what we are supposed to be, a community, a group, the Church, which has a different prime minister, a different president:  the Christ.  A community that does not go to war for oil, nor put its old people into sterilized death camps nor close our eyes to the many needless abortions.  But instead we should be the Church which imitates Jesus in his life of compassion, powerful love, righteous anger, generous hospitality, forgiveness of enemies, a Church which imitates Jesus in his death of self-giving love, in willingness to die for the truth of God, in the unwillingness to fight back through violence but instead to fight back by waiting for God to save, and finally a Church which imitates Jesus in his resurrection, not an emotional or spiritual resurrection but trust that God would not let his little ones fail forever, it is trust that God, not us, will redeem all things, we can lay back and die like everyone else and wait for God to raise us up again.

I am coming to believe that the Church I describe above is not a matter of personal preference but a matter of being “who we are” really.  We draw this from the story of Jesus, which we have believed and decided to follow his way.  This way of Jesus has been written down in a book which has become very important to us, in many ways, it is our book.  At times, as the Church, we’ve strayed into bible worship instead of Jesus worship.  But that mistake doesn’t disqualify the scriptures, we still need the stories of Jesus this book tells, we still need the record of his life, death and resurrection so that we do not forget that, as his people, we are to be like him, we tell the story of God and we are the story of God.

– Scripture: 

So today, we’re going to look at how the Church, as God’s alternative to the world, is the thing that tells the story of God and is the story of God.  The Church does this by imitating the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus in its public and private life together in community.

We have two scriptures to look at today about imitating Jesus in his life, death and resurrection.  One is a letter named 1 John, and the other is from the gospel of Mark.  By reading them to each other, we remember the events, the historical-ness of these stories upon which we have founded our beliefs.  So we are not following a simple philosophy with only ideas but a tradition and a way which was first acted out by Jesus and his followers and then passed down through the generations.  Now we are seeking to be his followers still, thousands of years later, his way is passed down by church after church, sometimes well, sometimes horribly, but we still seek to follow the one about whom John the Baptist said, “look, the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”

1 John 2:3-6

“Now by this we may be sure that we know him, if we obey his commandments.  Whoever says, “I have come to know him,” but does not obey his commandments, is a liar, and in such a person the truth does not exist; but whoever obeys his word, truly in this person the love of God has reached perfection.  By this we may be sure that we are in him: whoever says, “I abide in him,” ought to walk just as he walked.”

“ought to walk just as he walked.”

also let us consider Mark 8:31

“Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.  He said all this quite openly.  And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.  But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan!  For you are setting your mind not on things divine but on human things.”

“He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.  For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?  Indeed, what can they give in return for their life?  Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.  And he said to them, “Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.”

So if I’m going to talk about the capital “C” Church as imparting and embodying some kind of story, it begs the question: what so important about a story?

why ideas of “community” “love” “spirituality” are insufficient without being concretized in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus of Nazereth, a place!, a town! like St. Stephen!

The reason why you can’t have Christianity without story, either telling or being, is that without the historical enfleshing of Jesus and our imitation of him, without us walking as he walked, our communal faith becomes too quickly a smettering of philosophical ideas that one could find in many different communities. But Christianity is a way of life which is about God’s concretization in the lives of humans.  Hence, talk of ‘love’ can mean many different things.  a good example of which is that one person says “I love you” and means one thing and another person says “I love you” and means something very different. 

            So the story of Jesus concretizes what love means and we concretize it further by enacting the story of Jesus in our community.  An example of this would be Jesus healing the sick, in those stories we have an idea, “healing,” that is made concrete by Jesus doing it.  In addition to this, because of the existence of the Church, we make healing even more concrete to us by imitating Jesus, in the power of the Spirit, by healing in his name.  and so the story goes on.

The Church as God’s alternative community tells and is the story of God

We tell the story –

implications of this…

Remembering:  first we tell the story to ourselves, it is our great remembering.  It is an amazing thing to have a history, thousands of years of richness.  It is also very painful as there have been many times when the Church has not been “itself.”  Both the joyful and the painful parts of the story are important to remember because they are ours.  If we forget our stories, we will cease being ourselves and become like the culture around us, which is indeed what has happened.

Accounting:  we also tell ourselves the story so the other may keep us accountable.  I say I am a Christ follower not because I follow Christ very nearly or well.  I say to you that I am a Christ follower because I often fail and yet I hope to follow, and I hope that by telling you, you will remind me of my desire when I am tempted to follow other gods.

– within these stories are wisdom

– we speak the words of the historic events of our faith 

Sharing:  relating back to walt’s message last week, “confidently proclaiming that which we have come to believe…without being an ass.”  We tell the story of God even by not knowing answers to question, by being a conversationalist.  This is so because part of knowing God and being in God’s community is living in and with mystery.

– Proclaiming:  We are the witness to the coming age that has already come in part.  We are the witness to the peaceable kingdom of Jesus, where we love each other

– The story of Jesus, though intensely connected to the old testament and to the new testament letters that came after it, is more important than either of these.  That is to say, our reading of the bible should be done through the lens of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.

We are the story

Imitation of Christ in…

– Life:  (1 John 2:3-6) As Jesus lived, his actions, inactions, loyalties, mercy, anger gave signposts for the us as the community of Jesus to follow in his wake.  He healed the sick, so must we.  He forgave his enemies, so must we.  He nurtured his personal friendship with God, so must we.  He fought for the poor and was harsh with those who enabled oppression of the people, so must we.  The life of the Church is in it’s obedience to the kind of life Jesus lived.  In this imitation, we continue the story of Jesus and of God in our world

– Suffering: (Mark 8:31) as Jesus suffered death for bringing love to the world, so the Church, if it is being faithful to Jesus, will suffer at the hands of those who would kill love, for the Church, when it is most rightly being itself, is the community of love.  In this, the Church enacts the story of God in the world, it becomes, as Jesus was, the suffering servant of God.  It is there on the cross that we see the clearest picture of God’s non-violent love, choosing rather to die than to fight back with violence; he refused to win that way.

  When imitating the life of Jesus puts us at odds with those who would hurt us if we do not give in, we must not give in but instead, fight back with love and suffering.  By this, we continue the story of God in our world, who gave himself over to be killed so that the whole world, even his murderers, might truly live.

(One thought i’d love to develop is the truth that to die is not an option.  The very sense that perhaps we don’t really know this is a clue as to why dying, whether its for love or some other reason, hits a chord within us that inspires revolt.

             So really the choice is to die or to die, but what will our lives look like before that time?  Like the life of Jesus?  Or like the useless life of self-centered materialism which has proven its only use:  to convince us of its indispensability.

            we have the chance to, before we die, live lives that speak of the crucified and risen Lord, in our Church community and in our world, local and global.  Shall we take this chance?)

– Resurrection:  As Jesus was raised from the dead by God, so we will be.  This trust that Jesus had in his life and his suffering is what we are called to have also.  This resurrection is not an emotional or spiritual resurrection but a physical one occurring at some point in the future.  Our hope is that God has us all in hand, our actual bodies, our spirits and our minds.  By waiting and hoping for the resurrection (in which we hope to be included), we tell and live the unfolding story of God, witnessing by our hope to a God who, in the mystery, will not leave us to death forever.

– Worship:  Stanley Hauerwas relates three ‘marks’ of the Church enacting the story of God:

            1)  Sacraments – baptism, the eucharist

            2)  Teaching

            3)  People being built up in their character – “by this they will know you, that you                                                                                                             love one another.”

– The Commonplace:  The story of the Quakers.  They were known as fair and honest tradespeople, this fairness and honesty came out of their communal devotion to Jesus and to His ways.  If it were just one, no big headlines, but a whole people, a whole part of the Church became known as people you could depend, people that were different than the other businesses in town.  So, how much does it matter if you pray at work if you also cheat at work?  What does that witness to in terms of your local Church community?  We live in our everyday common world as people who endeavor to be like God and also who God is forming to be like Him.


Does this sound like an exciting job?

does it sound like a big job?

if yes and yes, then here are some important reminders:

We don’t have to make it all turn out right:

So the Church’s job is not to make everything come out right; that is God’s job.  The Church’s job is to proclaim the story of God in Jesus, his life, death, and resurrection and to enact the story in our lives as a church community.  This means imitation of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.  This is important to say once we begin to grasp the beauty and the breadth of God’s calling on our lives; once we realize this it is important to confess:  The Church is not in control, we leave that to God.

The kingdom of God is bigger than the Church:

It is important to say this because of the humility we need.  This talk is focusing on God’s work in making the Church, but it is so true and I am glad that God works independently of the Church also.  Many people have met Jesus through a myriad of strange experiences which were simply Jesus revealing himself.  What we need is to be content to trust God to work beyond us, and for us to work on who we should be.  As T. S. Eliot says, “for us there is only the trying, the rest is not our business.”

Probably the most important one out of the three:      We Do Not Walk Alone.  The Holy Spirit created the Church on Pentecost and is faithful to empower the Church forward in its mission; that’s why the Holy Spirit teaches and encourages, so that we may more rightly tell and more rightly live the story of God; we do not walk alone. 


         so the effect of all this should be…what exactly?

– joy and contentment at the presence of God in our midst

– a sense of purpose that we have a cosmic job, a story to tell and a story to be

– confidence that the Holy Spirit who created the Church will keep the Church, continue to teach us, empower us, lead us to Jesus so we may imitate him and be like him.

– we should be glad that we are the Church, that God flows through us, created not just me or you but us together, in community, building a life of obedience to Jesus.

– a sense that these lives gathered here are part of a beautiful plan to bring love and life to the world town by town, church by church, community by community.

– a sense that we are in the middle of God’s story moving forward in our world

– laughter that we are so short sighted most of the time


and so we continue this tradition and this belief

that we build our lives, our communities, our actions

around one man, Jesus

and we believe as he taught us


we tell the story of Jesus

and we are the story of Jesus,

as we live, breathe, teach, reach out, build our families, worship together, all as a community.

that we are a sign of the coming

kingdom of God, which comes today for you and for me.